An Altrui couple talk about their feelings on diary day four of their two week wait. Today – bloating?
Getting up for work was a struggle today. Being back at work had really taken it out of me. I was having a conversation with one of the girls at work about how I was feeling. She asked if I had any symptoms or was feeling any different. I explained that I felt exhausted and my bedtime now resembled that of a young child. I said that my tummy had been generally achey and mildly uncomfortable. She then commented “your tummy does look a bit swollen”. This would have ordinarily offended any woman. However, inwardly I did a little squeal. I suppressed this feeling quickly. I was not going to allow myself to get too excited. After all it must have been the Cyclogest pessaries.
There is a particular mirror at the bottom of our stairs that you glimpse a profile of yourself as you get to the bottom. I was now obsessed with standing on the last stair, holding my top up and examining my tummy. It is any different? Am I just imagining that I am bloated? Surely this is too early to start showing? This is now making me delusional but there is no escape. The desire for a positive result is so strong that somehow it picks you up and you ride along battling against suppressive thoughts. Desire always wins though.