The result of my egg donation
Once egg collection had taken place, I was always very interested to hear how the process continued from there. The recipient couple go to the clinic around the same time as egg collection takes place and a fresh sperm sample is provided. The clinics are very careful that if an egg donor is anonymous to the recipient couple, then they wouldn’t end up accidentally meeting in the waiting room at any time.
Once the eggs and sperm are collected, either IVF or ICSI is used as a way of embryos being created and then these embryos are left to their cell multiplication. If the cells multiply enough, then the embryos are transplanted in the lady recipient after around 3 days.
When I donated eggs to a couple I knew, it was quite a anxious time waiting to hear how the embryos were developing, so I was very disappointed when the couple were told they only had two viable embryos for transfer and 2 weeks later, no pregnancy resulted. I felt really upset for the couple because I knew how desperate they were to have a child and how eager the three of us were, for our team efforts to be fruitful… the only time I really felt upset in myself, was when my friend cried down the phone and said she felt she’d let me and her husband down and she was so very sorry. That conversation is by far the most painful part of the whole egg donation process that I’ve had to face.
Because the first couple I donated to were through a clinic and anonymous to me, I was told that if I wanted to hear the progress of their 9 embryos, I could call up the clinic and ask for updates. Legally I had the right to know how many pregnancies that had resulted, the number of births and the gender of the children. This anonymous couple ran into health difficulties around the time of egg collection, so I know that they’ve had two embryos transferred unsuccessfully, but that they’re leaving a gap before they transfer any more.
I often wonder how I’ll feel the day I hear my eggs have helped a couple have a child; completely thrilled I’m sure. There are some friends who comment that they wouldn’t be able to get their head around thinking of ‘their child’ being out there, growing up with another mum. But I always explain that I never think about what I’ve done in those terms; to me I’m using what would be a fruitless menstrual cycle to offer a couple hope. And that any resulting baby, having been nurtured for 9 months in the womb of the recipient lady – bathed in her hormones and bonded during the intimate hours during and after labour – will always be the ‘real mum’ of that child, regardless of what biological make up he or she has.
Maybe this detached view comes from my strong beliefs in the nurture over nature debate, but I’m happy that I’m completely at ease with the part I play as an egg donor and that I’m able to continue helping as many couples as I can, until I’m at the point of having my own family.