Goodwill Message

[ashParticipant]

Hi All,
I am looking for some inspiration and thoughts on what kinds of things to put in the goodwill message etc to any potential genetic offspring.
A brief intro to my story – a few years ago my partner and I sadly found out that my partner was infertile. The only way for us to have children of our own was using donor sperm. After a quite long and emotional few years, 8 months ago we became proud parents twins and are incredibly grateful to our donor for making it possible for us to have children of our own. Whilst going through all of this we met many other couples facing similar problems including several women who were struggling to conceive with their own eggs. So from very early on I began thinking about donating my eggs and this year I am planning to donate to a couple through Altrui.
My partner and I feel very strongly that a non-anonymous system is the right system for everyone involved. We have already begun telling our children about their origins, although I don’t think they really understand that much yet! We have gathered as much info about the donor that we can from the sperm company and the HFEA so are armed with info, if and when our little ones show an interest – which they may or may not do! So now I am on the “other side” and coming to write information about myself and a goodwill message to any potential children who arise from my round of egg donation. I know from the DCN that donor offspring often benefit from being able to learn more about their donor should they decide they want to, so am willing to be as open an honest as I can. But I don’t want to end up writing a thesis on the subject of “Me”!!! So I am looking for inspiration – what sort of things did you write and were there things you felt strongly to include/ exclude and why. I am also contacting the NGDT, but thought it would be good to get the perspective of other donors as well as the “experts”.
All thoughts would be gratefully received

[AlisonKeymaster]

Hi N and everyone else who is struggling with this! I think it is really tricky to know what to put and probably surreal, and all of you have given a lot of information already which will be there for a child in the future. However, help is at hand as I have this amazing letter sent to me by someone who’s recently donated, which I’m sure will give you a lot of inspiration. Here goes:

“I don’t know how you’re supposed to start a letter to someone you’ve never met so I guess I’ll just begin.

I hope your life so far has been everything you could possibly imagine so far and all your birthdays have been extraordinary, especially your 18^th!

I am writing this almost 19 years ago! It’s a very strange but amazing feeling to know that I could help your mum and dad achieve what they wanted the most, you. I know that they love you so much and would give you everything they own if you needed it. I am sure that you are an extraordinary young person, and so privileged to have such courageous parents who have gone to such lengths to bless you with the love and support you have been given.

I suppose I should tell you why I made the decision to donate my eggs to complete strangers. Well, I have witnessed first-hand the heartbreak a couple goes through when they need help in getting pregnant. Whilst writing this, my sister and brother-in-law are expecting their first child after 4 rounds of IVF. That is my main reason for doing this, but also when I think about the joy your parents will be feeling now, knowing they are being given the chance of a child, and will feel when you arrive in the world, it seems like such a small thing to do for such a massive reward.

If you can get personality traits from DNA, I hope you have received the courage, strength and unwillingness to ever give up from my mum’s side of the family, and also from your parents.

I wish you all the best in your life, and if you, your mum or dad ever need anything from me I will be happy to help in any way I can. That also goes for if any of you ever want to contact me.”

 

SO I hope this helps, but F has said that she is really happy to help anyone with this so get in touch with me and I’ll pass on her details.

• This reply was modified 2 months, 3 weeks ago by  Alison.

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