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Sam’s Story: Diary of an Egg Donor - The Result

Wednesday, September 22nd, 2010

Once egg collection had taken place, I was always very interested to hear how the process continued from there. The recipient couple go to the clinic around the same time as egg collection takes place and a fresh sperm sample is provided. The clinics are very careful that if an egg donor is anonymous to the recipient couple, then they wouldn’t end up accidently meeting in the waiting room at any time.

Once the eggs and sperm’s collected, either IVF or ICSI is used as a way of embryos being created and then these embryos are left to their cell multiplication. If the cells multiply enough, then the embryos are transplanted in the lady recipient after around 3 days.

When I donated eggs to a couple I knew, it was quite a anxious time waiting to hear how the embryos were developing, so I was very disappointed when the couple were told they only had two viable embryos for transfer and 2 weeks later, no pregnancy resulted. I felt really upset for the couple because I knew how desperate they were to have a child and how eager the three of us were, for our team efforts to be fruitful… the only time I really felt upset in myself, was when my friend cried down the phone and said she felt she’d let me and her husband down and she was so very sorry. That conversation is by far the most painful part of the whole egg donation process that I’ve had to face.

Because the first couple I donated to were through a clinic and anonymous to me, I was told that if I wanted to hear the progress of their 9 embryos, I could call up the clinic and ask for updates. Legally I had the right to know how many pregnancies that had resulted, the number of births and the gender of the children. This anonymous couple ran into health difficulties around the time of egg collection, so I know that they’ve had two embryos transferred unsuccessfully, but that they’re leaving a gap before they transfer any more.

I often wonder how I’ll feel the day I hear my eggs have helped a couple have a child; completely thrilled I’m sure. There are some friends who comment that they wouldn’t be able to get their head around thinking of ‘their child’ being out there, growing up with another mum. But I always explain that I never think about what I’ve done in those terms; to me I’m using what would be a fruitless menstrual cycle to offer a couple hope. And that any resulting baby, having been nurtured for 9 months in the womb of the recipient lady – bathed in her hormones and bonded during the intimate hours during and after labour – will always be the ‘real mum’ of that child, regardless of what biological make up he or she has. Maybe this detached view comes from my strong beliefs in the nurture over nature debate, but I’m happy that I’m completely at ease with the part I play as an egg donor and that I’m able to continue helping as many couples as I can, until I’m at the point of having my own family.

Sam’s Story: Diary of an Egg Donor - Egg Collection

Wednesday, September 15th, 2010

During the course of taking the daily injections (around 13 days) I went to the clinics to have scans to ensure the eggs where growing as they should be and I wasn’t at risk of over stimulating them, causing Ovarian Hyper Stimulation Syndrome. But all scans showed my ovaries were stimulated just right and the follicles, containing the eggs, were maturing well. It was really exciting having the fertility consultant count the number of follicles in each ovary and mark which ones were which size.

I’d been warned that there were possible side affects from the stimulation drugs which included feeling bloated, having hot flushes, feeling overly emotional or PMT type symptoms. I think I got off pretty lightly really! For the first week I felt completely normal and there was only one episode in the second week, where I thought I’d run out of the medication I needed to inject, called the nurses line and when no one picked up, I burst into teats and felt like it was the end of the world! Then I realised that it was probably my hormones making me very sensitive and that the nurse would return my call shortly, which she did.

By the day of egg collection I felt pretty bloated. I’d taken to wearing baggy tops for work and loose trousers… I actually thought that this is what it maybe felt like to be pregnant as I did exaggerated waddling around the office!

On the morning of egg collection I wasn’t allowed to eat anything, because I was to have heavy sedation for the operation. But I was that excited that the big day that we’d been preparing for for 9 months had arrived, that I wasn’t all that hungry anyway.

At the hospital I had a whole host of people come speak with me including the doctor, the embryologist, the nurse who had been giving me scans, and the anaesthetist. I felt calm as I went into the theatre room to find around 10 people smiling at me! After the anaesthetist gave me the heavy sedation, the next thing I remembered was coming round in a different room and feeling very drowsy. Within a few minutes the drowsiness had lifted and I felt fine, a little tender, but in no pain. The doctor explained that they’d collected 14 eggs and this was a good result, so I was very pleased.

Egg collection was the only day I took off work, so my friend took me home from the clinic around lunchtime and I put my feet up for the rest of the day. The following day I was back at work, feeling fine. I couldn’t help but think that for such a relatively small amount of time and effort on my part, what I’d done had given hope to a couple who’d longed for a child for many years, which felt completely worth the 9 month journey we’d gone through and left me feeling really please with myself.

Sam’s Story: Diary of an Egg Donor - More injections

Wednesday, September 8th, 2010

Second course of injections

Because it took around 9 months to get from the point of contacting the clinic about donate eggs, to having my menstrual cycle synchronised with my first couple and being ready for treatment, by the time we were all ready to go, I was very excited and eager to make a start.

I felt 100% prepared and knew the decision I’d made to donate eggs was completely right for me. To help ensure I’d considered everything thoroughly, I’d had two sessions of fertility counselling which was organised by the clinic. The counselling was very helpful in challenging me to think of the whole egg donation process and all of its implications involved… some being less obvious than others! Given that I was single and in my late 20s, when the counsellor asked how I would tackle speaking with my future children, about the fact they could have a half sibling somewhere, the question seemed rather profound to me! We also talked through what future partners might feel about what I’d done. Although I didn’t have answers for these questions immediately, they provided me with a lot of food for thought and I made sure I had the answers to these questions straight in my head, before I was absolutely sure I’d donate.

The counsellor also talked me through the fairly recent change in the law, which meant a child had the right to information on their egg or sperm donor, once they reached the age of 18 and that the HFEA had special forms I had to complete to prepare for this. I felt a little daunted at first; what should I write on the forms, for a potential child to access in over 18 years time… by then I’d be over 45 and my life would be very different to what it was now. But I surprised myself and it really didn’t take long to get a feel for the kind of information I wanted to include, it felt like a very personal CV really.

Once the forms and the recipient couple were ready, and I’d undergone the ovary suppression, we were then onto the dreaded stimulation part of the treatment – daily injections!

This was the part of the treatment I was least comfortable with, given that I hate injections. But it helped a lot when on one of the first meetings I had with the clinic, they showed me the self injecting kit I’d use that came in a handy little thermal rucksack (since used for picnics!) I guess in my mind I’d conjured up images of big syringes with liquid squirting out of the top, but in actual fact, the kit included a pen very similar to that used by diabetics, so it was more like holding a pen against my lower tummy and pressing a button… easy peasy really. I can’t say the injections were painful and felt a real sense of satisfaction that I’d been able to cope with injecting myself so easily.

Sam’s Story - Diary of an Egg Donor: Ouch!

Tuesday, August 31st, 2010

Week Three: Initial Injections

I first got involved with donating my eggs, having seen an advert in a Sunday supplement; a couple had been desperate to have children for many years and now their only hope was to find an egg donor. I knew immediately, that so long as my own health or fertility would not to be put at risk, I would definitely help them. I contacted Guys and St Thomas’s, the clinic the couple were using, and started the ball rolling from there.

Seeing as the first couple I’d wanted to help were using a clinic in London, I made a few trips down there in the initial stages; I spoke to the egg co-ordinator, the fertility counselling and started the medical screening. Given the staff appreciating the distance I was travelling from, they were often considerate in doubling up appointments, to limit the amount of travelling I had to do.

The clinic explained that any travelling, child care or expenses from taking time off work were reimbursable, so I wasn’t at all worried about paying for my train fare and claiming the expenses back.

I shared my thoughts on egg donation with family, friends and colleagues, most of whom knew as little about the subject as I had. Some close friends thought I was talking about surrogacy and were very concerned at how I would cope with “giving your baby away”. But once they understood what egg donation involved, the medical process and felt satisfied that I’d explored all risks to myself, everyone was very supportive and encouraging of what I wanted to do. Work have been exceptionally patient in allowing me mornings off work to go for appointments and scans, on the understanding that I’d make up any hours I’d missed, staying after work.

The treatment for egg donation can be split into two parts; suppressing ovaries followed by over stimulating them. To suppress my ovaries from working as they usually would do, I used a nasal spray twice a day, which was a little strange the first time I tried it, but didn’t bother me after that. There were no side affects from the spray and is was only small, so easy to carry round in my handbag. Given how similar it looked to sinus medication, I didn’t think twice about using it at my desk at work and no one quizzed me.

Sam’s Story - Diary of an Egg Donor: Testing Times

Wednesday, August 25th, 2010

Mentally I was extremely well prepared for the tests ahead, thanks to the information and support offered to me by those advising me through the process.

As well as the tests I’ve already described there were a few others that were needed to check everything was in working order. Checking that everything looks as it should do with my uterus and ovaries involves an ultrasound scan.

I had a really embarrassing experience when the doctor said she’d leave me for a minute to get myself prepared for the scan, so I hopped on the bed, lay back and held my jumper up, ready for that jelly stuff and an ultrasound scan, like I’d seen on the telly. But when the doctor returned she looked completely puzzled at my preparation and had to sit down and explain that ultrasound scans on stomachs were for women who were pregnant… all scans on my ovaries and uterus would be internal ones and could I please take my pants off! I felt really silly! But it just goes to show, if you’re not given clear instructions, then how would you know an ultrasound scan would be internal?! Anyway, the discomfort from my embarrassing mistake was far worse than the discomfort from the internal scan, so I was relieved about that.

I’ve never been bothered about smear tests, so the process of being scanned didn’t feel like unfamiliar territory; it wasn’t painful and the doctor was very thorough in explaining – almost! – everything. Something that surprised me about both clinics I worked with, is that once I’d shown interest in being an egg donor, I wasn’t immediately bombarded by someone with a clipboard and pen, trying to get me to sign my eggs away, before I changed my mind! All clinics invested a lot of time into ensuring I was fully informed and completely happy with my decision to donate and I felt I could back out at any time if I decided it wasn’t for me, this made the process and the decision far easier, given there was no pressure but a lot of support.