Why some women become altruistic egg donors
19th August 2015
Many recipients have themselves been through the IVF process and therefore, although it is different for them, they have an appreciation of what is asked of donors when they donate eggs. So we are frequently asked the same question: “Why do women do this?” “What motivates them?”
To answer this question we went back to the files of our first few donors and were staggered to see their responses to this same question that we asked them at the outset. They can explain their reasons for wanting to be donors better than we ever could:
“I have two children and they’ve made me very happy. It feels right to donate eggs in the hope that someone else will be able to experience that happiness. I also have friends who have been able to have families because other people have donated gametes, and that has brought home to me how necessary donors are.”
“I have always been a ‘giver’ and am happy to give anything I don’t need to live. I donate blood, am on the bone marrow list and thought that as my family are complete that it would be nice to donate my eggs to a couple that need some extra help to have a baby.”
“Recently I have been surrounded by people who have found it difficult to conceive. My best friend has recently lost one of her ovaries. Seeing what she has gone through mentally with the possibility of not being able to bear her own child has made me decide that if I am healthy enough to do that then I should help women who are not able to.”
“I heard the advert and I was very intrigued, so went on the website straight away. I am a young, single and healthy woman and think that as I already give blood, which is very rewarding, why not do something amazing like this and help couples who desperately want to have a family. I also would like to have children of my own one day and if I do struggle to conceive, this may be a path I may have to go down.”
“I completely took becoming pregnant and having a family for granted. I always just thought it would happen. I was very lucky and fell pregnant very quickly both times and now have two happy, healthy beautiful boys. Reading articles and seeing things on TV recently made me realise not everyone is so lucky. Down to no fault of their own, some women’s eggs will never one day become a baby. Meanwhile I have many working eggs that are just thrown away. It just doesn’t seem fair. If I can help a couple to become a family it would be a great privilege to know I played a very tiny part in putting those smiles on their faces.”
“Having seen several of my friends and my step-mum go through fertility treatment, I have seen how distressing and heart-breaking it can be not to be able to have a child.
My step-mum and I are very close and her own story in particular inspired me to become an egg donor. I have always been of the opinion that if you can help someone why wouldn’t you and having researched egg donation I wanted to help a couple who needed it.”
“I spoke to a colleague who has resorted to IVF to start a family of his own. I was really touched by his desire to have children but upset me to see his struggle. If I can donate eggs to make couples happy and to give a loving environment to a baby, I would hate to deny them the chance of doing that. I would hope to have a family of my own one day; and if I was unable to have children naturally for whatever reason would like to think there were volunteers willing to help me too. By giving my eggs that are surplus I my need, I would feel so rewarded knowing it would help someone else.”
Similar themes to these are mirrored through all our donors. You may also like to read some of the comments, reviews and testimonials from our donors and recipients.